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Entry tags:

gen texts

Entry tags:

tfln

01. just checked my missed calls. why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?

02. I'm already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.

03. There's about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.

04. I have to get rid of the hedgehog.

05. [Text him.]

Entry tags:

tfln

01. I really have trouble telling when you're drunk texting me and when you're just being your regular self

02. On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap

03. It's as if I'm in a choose your own adventure book. Except I'm not
the reader and someone else is choosing.

04. Absolutely not, I refuse to handle it sober.

05. [Text him.]

Entry tags:

tfln

01. I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do

02. It wasn't a shower, it was a bath and you weren't just fully clothed. You deliberately put on more clothes before you got in.

03. are you in my closet

04. On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?

05. [Text him.]

Entry tags:

yearbook meme

Entry tags:

tfln

01. im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor

02. You called me your "mama bear" and then demanded more vodka.

03. I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?

04. I'm the wrong person to ask about child endangerment, probably.

05. [Text him.]

Entry tags:

denny's meme

Entry tags:

gen texts

Entry tags:

tfln

01. Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?

02. No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears.

03. woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"

04. I don't know what to do with this kid, he is legitimately interested in my life.

05. [Text him.]

Entry tags:

gen texts

Entry tags:

tfln

01. It's fine. I'm going to be fine. Don't worry about it.

02. apparently I have "no regard for my personal safety" or something

03. Elaborate on how you ended up in my bathtub this morning.

04. Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.

05. [Text him.]

Entry tags:

tfln

01. Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?

02. Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly certain that my shirt was on fire.

03. A customer tried following me home after work so I climbed in your window like we were secret lovers.

04. The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.

05. [Text him.]

Entry tags:

midnight texting

Entry tags:

tfln

01. It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.

02. A "good idea". Those were your words.

03. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later

04. I am looking directly at you. Get off of the roof.

05. [Text him.]

Entry tags:

tfln

01. You die, and I will carve “I told you so” on your headstone.

02. There's a blur where last night should be. I think that means I have a concussion.

03. Ah, I see you're also a member of the fuck my father club.

04. Because who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.

05. [Text him.]

Entry tags:

tfln

01. my phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and i feel like that says a lot about my life.

02. You wrote on my hand that I should apologize to you. I know it was you. It was your handwriting.

03. i'd rather put both hands in a blender, twice.

04. I did meet some of the most insufferable people. But, they also met me.

05. [Text him.]

Entry tags:

m: text,
t: behaved

gen texts

Entry tags:

tfln

1. Then we just all showered together...?

2. Also fuck yeah conspiracy

3. it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies

4. Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...

5. Text him